


The bet (and its immediate aftermath)

by gilleboll



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec and Izzy share one braincell, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 06:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19079797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilleboll/pseuds/gilleboll
Summary: Holy shit. Someone was going to die. That someone would be either Alec or Isabelle. And then Simon would die at the hands of either a Lightwood, Herondale, or Bane. Maybe even all three, with his luck.Simon is left in charge of keeping an eye on Alec and Isabelle for a few minutes. The catch? They’re both drunk. And very competitive.





	The bet (and its immediate aftermath)

”You’ve gotta be kidding me! Jace!”

” _ I’m sorry, Clary! _ ”

Simon had watched in mild fascination and confusion as his friends had gone from stone-cold sober, to tipsy, to whatever the hell was happening now. He’d never thought parties at the Institute would actually end with people getting seriously drunk. Clary’s blouse was sopping wet and she was struggling to keep a serious face as she scolded Jace, the offending drink-spiller in question. 

”You’re helping me find a new shirt to wear!”

Jace’s face was flushed with red, and he was trying and failing to keep a serious expression as well. The corners of his mouth were twitching as if he didn’t have any control over them. 

”Gladly,” he said, sounding surprisingly ordinary.

There was a sudden chortle.

” _ Izzy! _ ” Clary said in that sort of scolding, sort of laughing tone of voice as she turned to look at her friend. Next to Simon, Isabelle, who had been trying so hard to keep her snickers from escaping her, dissolved into a hysterical laughing fit. Even Alec looked like he saw the humor in what was going on. The only one who still seemed relatively normal was Magnus. Not that Magnus wasn’t amused. He glanced at Izzy with a grin, leaned over to mumble something into Alec’s ear and they laughed.

”We’ll be  _ right _ back,” Jace told the others as Clary dragged him off, presumably to her room to ”find a new shirt”. 

 

Simon’s difficulty to keep anything other than blood in his system for more than ten minutes left him being the only one in the group who was still sober. Well, he supposed Magnus was still relatively sober what with his tolerance, but Simon was definitely the one with the smallest percentage of alcohol going through him. It was weird to suddenly be one of the most clear-headed ones out of everyone.  _ Thanks, vampirism. _ Simon felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Magnus standing beside him.

”I’m gonna go get these two some water,” he said, gesturing to Izzy and Alec with a jewelry-covered hand. ”If you could just… keep an eye on them, that’d be swell.”

Simon sputtered something unintelligible in protest, but Magnus was already gone. Of course Simon would be left to babysit the drunk versions of two of the people most unlikely to listen to a word he said. The only person more unlikely to just do what he said was Jace.

”Guys—”

He turned back to face the Lightwoods, only to find them gone. He felt his jaw clench when he sighed.

”Oh my— where are they?” he groaned under his breath, craning his neck to see if he could spot either of them in the crowd. He spotted a tall figure that looked suspiciously like Alec going out into one of the hallways, Isabelle in tow. Oh God.

 

While Simon couldn’t genuinely thank vampirism for his basic inability to eat or drink anything without blood in or on it, he could thank vampirism for his much improved vision and speed. He had indeed spotted the Lightwood siblings across the room, and he caught up with them before they’d gotten far away enough for him to lose them.

”I bet you can’t shoot that bottle out of my hand from 30 feet,” Izzy said with a cocky smile as she pointed to the nearly empty bottle of beer in Alec’s hand.

Alec’s eyebrows shot up. ”Oh yeah? I’ll take that action.”

Holy shit. Someone was going to die. That someone would be either Alec or Isabelle. And then Simon would die at the hands of either a Lightwood, Herondale, or Bane. Maybe even all three, with his luck.

”Hey guys… Maybe let’s  _ not _ do that!” Simon dashed out in front of the siblings in an attempt to act as a physical barrier between them and a drunken visit to the weapons room.

”I don’t see why not,” Alec said, pushing past Simon without much difficulty. Simon stared at Alec in absolute bewilderment.

”Who are you and what did you do to Alec Lightwood? You can’t seriously aim an arrow at your sister — or anyone else — when you’re wasted!”

Izzy laughed and grabbed Simon by the arm with both her strong hands. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Her breath smelled like whatever sweet drink she’d been sipping on.

”Simon, it’ll be fine! Haven’t you seen my brother in action?”

”Exactly. Thank you!” Alec said as he snapped his fingers and pointed at Isabelle. A very un-Alec move.  _ How much had that guy had? _

” _ Not _ exactly!” 

No matter how much Simon protested, there was no stopping them. He desperately wracked his brain for any way at all to get at least one of them in check as Izzy more or less dragged him along toward the weapons room to fetch a bow and quiver for Alec.

 

As the trio rounded the final corner, Simon’s brain finally kicked in to gear. With the hand that wasn’t trapped in a tight grip by Isabelle, he patted himself down from his phone.

”I can’t believe I have to do this,” he muttered to himself as he fished the phone out of his back pocket and started scrolling through his contacts.

” _ Hello? _ ”

”Jace? Your siblings are insane and about to get someone killed.”

” _ What? _ ” Jace asked. Simon could almost see his confused expression over the phone.

”Magnus left to get to get them some water and told me to watch them and now they’re in the weapons room because Alec is going to shoot a bottle out of Izzy’s hand.”

Jace and Alec spoke at the exact same time.

” _ They’re about to—? Simon, you’ve either gotta film this or get them out of there. _ ”

”Aww, he went to get us water? I love him so much.”

Simon watched as Izzy patted her brother gently on the shoulder. He looked so lovesick and this whole situation was so strange that Simon just had to smile.

” _ Simon? _ ” Jace’s voice rang in his ear. ” _ Are you listening? _ ” 

Simon snapped back into reality.

”Don’t you think I’ve tried to get some sense into them?”

” _ Hard to do when you don’t have any. _ ” 

Low blow. Simon could hear Clary’s voice indistinctly in the background. 

” _ Look, I’m in a bit of a situation. Just— call Magnus or something. _ ” 

Jace hung up before Simon could say anything. So much for that.

 

While Simon had been dealing with Jace, Alec had found a bow and some arrows and was on his way out. 

”Come on,” Isabelle said, tugging at Simon’s hand. He reluctantly let himself be dragged into the training room as he tried to get a text away to Magnus with just one hand.

 

_ ”Please come get your boyfriend in the training room!!!” _

 

Alec handed his empty beer bottle to his sister.

”Call me when you get there,” he said and Isabelle nodded. She started walking across the open room, stumbling once or twice. Honestly, Simon was surprised she didn’t fall.

”Alec, this is insane and you know it, you can’t—”

Simon was interrupted by Alec’s phone ringing.

”I have to take this,” he said, completely seriously, and turned away from Simon. ”Are you in position?”

Simon heard Izzy laugh, both from where she stood roughly thirty feet away, and from Alec’s phone. Alec couldn’t hold back a chuckle either. He  _ had _ to know how ridiculous all this was.

”Yeah. Ready when you are,” she said. In her one hand, she had her phone, pressing against her ear, in the other, she held the brown bottle. She stretched it out at arm’s length.

”Alright,” Alec said and hung up. He carefully nocked an arrow. It took a few tries before he could get the string to line up with the groove on the end of the shaft. 

”Alexander Gideon Lightwood, what  _ are _ you doing?”

That wasn’t Magnus’s voice. Unless he’d suddenly gotten a woman’s voice, which Simon found very unlikely. Izzy looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck also added to the likelihood that the voice didn’t belong to Magnus. Simon turned around and vaguely recognized Maryse Lightwood standing in the door. 

”Oh, uh, Mom—” Alec started, but Maryse held up a hand to silence him.

”I want to know  _ exactly _ what you two were thinking,” she said with pointed looks at each of her children. ”You are  _ adults _ .”

”Why aren’t you at the party?” Isabelle asked, and Maryse’s eyes shifted from her son to her daughter.

”I came to ask you the exact same thing, young lady.”

Simon took this as his cue to leave. As much as this situation was probably the most bizzare thing he’d ever experienced, he really didn’t want to stick around and listen to this scolding.

 

” _ If you were mundanes I would have grounded you both! _ ”

” _ Mom, what? I’m like twenty— _ ”

Simon was so caught up in what was happening in the training room that he nearly collided with Magnus, who had apparently found Jace and Clary before going to find Alec and Izzy and Simon. Either that, or they had all very conveniently ran into each other.

”What’s going on?” Jace asked, his eyes shifting to the door to the training room.

”Sounds like Maryse is giving her kids a stern talking to,” Magnus answered. Clary and Simon exchanged looks. They had, on more than one occasion, been on the receiving end of a ”stern talking to”.

”I’m just going to…” Jace said, taking a slow step backwards, away from where his mother’s voice was coming from.

”Yeah, me too,” Magnus agreed.

”Me three,” Simon chimed in, tailing the rest of them closely. 

 

Once they were out of Maryse’s earshot and back by the main party, Simon told them all what had gone down. When he was done, Magnus was rubbing his forehead with his fingertips, Jace looked like he didn’t know if he should laugh or feel sorry for Alec and Izzy, and Clary was laughing one of those shocked laughs people let out whenever they didn’t really know how else to react.

”Don’t ever let them live this down,” Simon said, turning to Jace. ”I will be so disappointed if you do.”

”I’m disappointed you thought you even had to tell me that,” Jace responded. A smirk was playing on his lips. Once they’d gotten over their hangovers in the morning, Izzy and Alec would never hear the end of it.

**Author's Note:**

> (huge thanks to @stariose on tumblr for proofreading this and helping me clean it up!!)
> 
> thanks for reading and i hope you liked it! as always, comments and kudos make my day!!<3


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